Vape tricks, just stop!

“Oh wow that was a sweet vape trick, do it again!” Said no one ever. Yeah we all know that the cool and hip trend for the past few years is vaping and rippin some gnarly clouds out of your smoke master 3000. Not sure if that’s really a name but I could care less. Keep your pancake, fruit loop and unicorn fart vape clouds out of my heavily polluted air ok? I care more about the Kardashians than I do your dual drip tank with car battery attached to it. For the record, I don’t keep up with the Kardashians.

 

I get that it’s a safe alternative to cigarettes or whatever smoke you prefer and all that blah blah. But for fucks sake I don’t need to open Snapchat and see a 2 minute long video of you ghost or French inhaling or blowing O’s. Actually I’ll call those zeros, for the number of people who give a shit Chad. And I’m pretty those things blow up from time to time? Yeah just let me go right ahead and blaze up this gummy bear flavored grenade. No thanks. I will say though that it isn’t harmful to the people around you. Except they might get secondhand douchebag or get the sudden urge to sing a Justin Bieber song, not one of the cool ones either. We’re talking pre tattoo Biebs.

 

Nowadays though there are all sorts of stupid tricks and competitions going on. They’ve got spitting competitions, sleeping competitions, there’s literally cloud competitions. I can’t make this shit up. A group of dorks gets together and make clouds of vape smoke and whoever makes the biggest one wins? Cool bro? I feel like if you win that it’s the equivalent of a participation trophy from the third grade spelling bee. Yeah sure you did good but not good enough for anyone to care. I wonder if I can put that on my resume, “2018 Little Joes Cloud Competition Champion”. Might work for the NFL, they’ll hire anybody to run that sinking ship.

 

Don’t get me wrong I don’t care if you vape but just don’t cross the line of douchebaggery and start smoking out the bar with your tricks. It’s kinda like jerking off, I don’t care if you do it, just don’t do it in front of a crowd. Doing a vape trick is like shotgunning a non-alcoholic beer or going no handed on your bike with the kickstand down and the training wheels still on. You’re on the right track but hit me up when you’re chiefin a Cuban one rip and blowing O’s the size of the Grand Canyon. I’m cool with recreational vapers…?! I’m not sure if that’s a thing. But to all the other vapers, leave the tricks to the Harlem Globetrotters. Willie Nelson doesn’t vape and he’s lived for at least 3 million years.

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